Can’t Believe It – Flo Rida & Pitbull
(Note: This video will blow your mind. Even if you don't read anything I wrote, watch this video!)
Great way to start a song. First it’s spoken
so it is easily heard. That’s a plus. I hate songs with loud beats where you can't hear anything being said. Damn kids with their hippity hop music! More importantly it presents a clear
thesis for the rest of the song. You hear this and you know that the topic of
asses will be fully covered. This isn't Bob Dylan and his metaphors
about Tambourine men or what's Blowin' in the Wind. Plus, fuck Bob Dylan. Have you heard him recently? You can't make out a word he's saying. Bob Dylan and Flo Rida are exact opposites and this song proves that.
Lyrics:
I can't believe it
White girl got some ass
I wanna see it
Black girl got a ass
It ain't a secret
Baby turn around
I wanna see it, tryin' to see it, gotta see it
I can't believe it
White girl got some ass
I wanna see it
Black girl got a ass
It ain't a secret
Baby turn around
I wanna see it, tryin' to see it, gotta see it
Dave Breakdown:
How much ass do you think Flo Rida gets on a daily basis? I’ll tell you how much ass. Tons. He wakes up in a bed made out of ass. There is no actual bed, he just lays down on a bunch of asses. The girls rotate throughout the night for bathroom breaks. If you ever meet Flo Rida don't breathe through your nose because he smells like shit. No, not shit. Ass. He gets so much ass he now permanently smells like ass.
We have established how many asses he gets and yet he still “Can’t Believe It” when it comes to these asses he’s now looking at. His mind, an encyclopedia of asses, can’t process this white girl’s ass or this black girl’s ass. These asses belong at the Top of the clASS.
How much ass do you think Flo Rida gets on a daily basis? I’ll tell you how much ass. Tons. He wakes up in a bed made out of ass. There is no actual bed, he just lays down on a bunch of asses. The girls rotate throughout the night for bathroom breaks. If you ever meet Flo Rida don't breathe through your nose because he smells like shit. No, not shit. Ass. He gets so much ass he now permanently smells like ass.
We have established how many asses he gets and yet he still “Can’t Believe It” when it comes to these asses he’s now looking at. His mind, an encyclopedia of asses, can’t process this white girl’s ass or this black girl’s ass. These asses belong at the Top of the clASS.
Lyrics:
I wanna see that bubble yum bum, badum bum badum
Bubble yum bum, badum bum badum
I wanna see that bubble yum bum, badum bum badum
Bubble yum bum, badum bum badum
Dave Breakdown:
Onomatopoeia at it’s finest. Flo Rida paints the perfect mind picture of the ass he is being drawn to. Listen to this again with your eyes closed. Can't you just see this ass bouncing up and down. Flo Rida puts you right into his head and now you feel his passion about this ass. You wanna see it, you tryin’ to see it, you gotta see it.
Onomatopoeia at it’s finest. Flo Rida paints the perfect mind picture of the ass he is being drawn to. Listen to this again with your eyes closed. Can't you just see this ass bouncing up and down. Flo Rida puts you right into his head and now you feel his passion about this ass. You wanna see it, you tryin’ to see it, you gotta see it.
(This Human/Ass Centipede scares the shit out of me)
Lyrics: Uh, I think I found one 'cause I got that fever of
Britney
Gotta self around one, ass like Serena, that's okay
'Cause I love my stereotypes, my girls in twos
That maximum exposure rolls and know what I wanna do
Gotta self around one, ass like Serena, that's okay
'Cause I love my stereotypes, my girls in twos
That maximum exposure rolls and know what I wanna do
Dave Breakdown:
“Cause I love my stereotypes.” Is anyone else standing up and giving Flo Rida an ovation right now? He isn’t one to hide his love of other races. It doesn’t matter what race you are, he loves your ass just the same. With people like Don Sterling in this world, I'm glad that Flo Rida's message can still be heard.
He does get a little poetic with this last line. "Maximum exposure rolls." There a two schools of thought on this phrase. Some believe that the ass is barely covered leaning towards the first two words "maximum" and "exposure." Others focus on the last two words "exposure" and "rolls." This group believes that Flo Rida is comparing himself to a camera and is mentally taking pictures of this ass for his Spank Bank or what have you.
Lyrics:
Telling all the girls, all around the world, my last name must be Robins
'Cause I'm basking in these asses, all thirty-one flavors keep calling,
Dave Breakdown:
Flo Rida uses a metaphor, which works perfectly. He is speaking to all the girls around the world and uses Baskin-Robbins to compare asses to ice cream. Baskin-Robbins exists in nearly 50 countries, even the United Arab Emirates! Metaphors get lost in translation all the time, but it doesn't matter what kind of girl you are or from what country, this one will make sense to you.
“Cause I love my stereotypes.” Is anyone else standing up and giving Flo Rida an ovation right now? He isn’t one to hide his love of other races. It doesn’t matter what race you are, he loves your ass just the same. With people like Don Sterling in this world, I'm glad that Flo Rida's message can still be heard.
He does get a little poetic with this last line. "Maximum exposure rolls." There a two schools of thought on this phrase. Some believe that the ass is barely covered leaning towards the first two words "maximum" and "exposure." Others focus on the last two words "exposure" and "rolls." This group believes that Flo Rida is comparing himself to a camera and is mentally taking pictures of this ass for his Spank Bank or what have you.
Lyrics:
Telling all the girls, all around the world, my last name must be Robins
'Cause I'm basking in these asses, all thirty-one flavors keep calling,
Dave Breakdown:
Flo Rida uses a metaphor, which works perfectly. He is speaking to all the girls around the world and uses Baskin-Robbins to compare asses to ice cream. Baskin-Robbins exists in nearly 50 countries, even the United Arab Emirates! Metaphors get lost in translation all the time, but it doesn't matter what kind of girl you are or from what country, this one will make sense to you.
Lyrics:
My my my my vanilla Cinderella love when I tell her drop it,
My butt of pecan recan but I, I love my chocolate.
My my my my vanilla Cinderella love when I tell her drop it,
My butt of pecan recan but I, I love my chocolate.
Dave Breakdown:
Once again, including all races here. He does show some preference here to black girls over Puerto Ricans (how “pecan recan” is pronounced). Obviously he knows most women were once children and loved Disney movies, hence the use of comparing them to Cinderella.
Once again, including all races here. He does show some preference here to black girls over Puerto Ricans (how “pecan recan” is pronounced). Obviously he knows most women were once children and loved Disney movies, hence the use of comparing them to Cinderella.
(Chorus Repeats)
Dave Breakdown:
I don't have much to add to the hook on the second time. The imagery still holds up and reinforces the picture of a bouncy ass.
I don't have much to add to the hook on the second time. The imagery still holds up and reinforces the picture of a bouncy ass.
Pitbull Lyrics:
She got that ba-donka donka donk donkie
Thing so fat, thing so chunky,
Call me Michael Jackson, hee hee
'Cause I love to play with monkeys,
She got that ba-donka donka donk donkie
Thing so fat, thing so chunky,
Call me Michael Jackson, hee hee
'Cause I love to play with monkeys,
Dave Breakdown:
I don’t fully understand what Pitbull is talking about here or why he chose to say these things. He begins by describing a big ass, which fits in perfectly, but then he loses me. “Call Me Michael Jackson, hee hee/Cause I love to play with monkeys.” I do believe that Michael Jackson had his own personal zoo, so he probably played with actual monkeys. But in this context, I’m not sure if comparing yourself to a possible pedophile while discussing asses and ESPECIALLY after just mentioning a Disney princess is the best idea. And the monkey thing? Dicks are described as monkeys, not a woman's ass.
I don’t fully understand what Pitbull is talking about here or why he chose to say these things. He begins by describing a big ass, which fits in perfectly, but then he loses me. “Call Me Michael Jackson, hee hee/Cause I love to play with monkeys.” I do believe that Michael Jackson had his own personal zoo, so he probably played with actual monkeys. But in this context, I’m not sure if comparing yourself to a possible pedophile while discussing asses and ESPECIALLY after just mentioning a Disney princess is the best idea. And the monkey thing? Dicks are described as monkeys, not a woman's ass.
(Pitbull, is this who you want to be comparing yourself to?)
Pitbull Lyrics:
This the Miami thing, that's right
We down for anything that's right,
You do everything, that's right
Flo Rida, Pitbull anything,
Dave Breakdown:
Did Pitbull even clear these lyrics with Flo Rida? I mean, C’mon Man! He’s not even talking about asses here. Oh you’ve been to Miami? Really? That’s amazing. Good for you. Can you now please get back to the ass? How many times does he need to say "thing?" It makes me think of that monkey dick he was talking about before.
Did Pitbull even clear these lyrics with Flo Rida? I mean, C’mon Man! He’s not even talking about asses here. Oh you’ve been to Miami? Really? That’s amazing. Good for you. Can you now please get back to the ass? How many times does he need to say "thing?" It makes me think of that monkey dick he was talking about before.
Pitbull Lyrics:
I'm off the chain a lang a lang lang,
Ustedes saben quien es quien
Mira salinga con toda esa nalga de
Como tu sabes estoy loco.
Pero que bueno que era poco,
Mami mueve los coco,
I don't care where you're from
As long as you got that bubble bum
I'm off the chain a lang a lang lang,
Ustedes saben quien es quien
Mira salinga con toda esa nalga de
Como tu sabes estoy loco.
Pero que bueno que era poco,
Mami mueve los coco,
I don't care where you're from
As long as you got that bubble bum
A rough translation I put through Google
Translate:
You
know who's
who
Look Salinga with all that buttock
As you know I'm crazy.
But that was good enough,
Mami moves coconut
Look Salinga with all that buttock
As you know I'm crazy.
But that was good enough,
Mami moves coconut
Dave Breakdown:
I don't know Spanish and I get this is a rough translation and could be phrased better, but you know what, I shouldn’t have to struggle to find the meaning of this song and I won’t force myself too! THIS IS AMERICA! Pitbull blows it again. He looks at one girl’s ass and because of just looking at it, he describes himself as CRAZY?! He must be crazy! How else could you describe yourself as crazy for looking at a girl’s ass. You could say it’s creepy or rude or even flirtatious, but not crazy.
I don't know Spanish and I get this is a rough translation and could be phrased better, but you know what, I shouldn’t have to struggle to find the meaning of this song and I won’t force myself too! THIS IS AMERICA! Pitbull blows it again. He looks at one girl’s ass and because of just looking at it, he describes himself as CRAZY?! He must be crazy! How else could you describe yourself as crazy for looking at a girl’s ass. You could say it’s creepy or rude or even flirtatious, but not crazy.
I’m
about 100% sure that Mami moves coconut is just a poor translation. It’s got to
be. Or maybe it's one of those code phrases, where when "Mami moves coconut" is said to the right person, they go into a trance and set out to kill a politician.
(Chorus Repeats)
Lyrics:
Now turn left, turn right
Turn around you could tell what I like
She look good, she so bad
She pick it up, drop it down, look back.
Bubbleyum bum, badam bam badam
Bubbleyum bum, badam bam badam
Bubbleyum bum, badam bam badam
Bubbleyum bum, badam bam badam
Now turn left, turn right
Turn around you could tell what I like
She look good, she so bad
She pick it up, drop it down, look back.
Bubbleyum bum, badam bam badam
Bubbleyum bum, badam bam badam
Bubbleyum bum, badam bam badam
Bubbleyum bum, badam bam badam
Dave Breakdown:
This is the final verse of the song, you'd think Flo Rida would've tried to end this song on some kind of conclusion. The ending reminds me a lot of the Lost finale. So many questions left unanswered! I had a theory that maybe the woman was being arrested here and was getting her mugshot taken, but Flo Rida specifically told me that it wasn't true. He confirmed he wanted to leave the song open-ended. Which makes sense. Wouldn't you want a song about ass be left open ENDed (#nailedit).
Final Rating: 7 Asses
P.S. I want to address the video for a moment. There are lots of alligators in the video. Maybe in a future installment I will address the symbolism behind it.
This is the final verse of the song, you'd think Flo Rida would've tried to end this song on some kind of conclusion. The ending reminds me a lot of the Lost finale. So many questions left unanswered! I had a theory that maybe the woman was being arrested here and was getting her mugshot taken, but Flo Rida specifically told me that it wasn't true. He confirmed he wanted to leave the song open-ended. Which makes sense. Wouldn't you want a song about ass be left open ENDed (#nailedit).
Final Rating: 7 Asses
P.S. I want to address the video for a moment. There are lots of alligators in the video. Maybe in a future installment I will address the symbolism behind it.
EDITORS NOTE: I listened to this song on repeat for two hours or so as I wrote my first draft of this. I still love it....
My only regret is I didn’t drink more.
No comments:
Post a Comment